Thursday, July 19, 2007

See, the thing about the logo is this


So somebody in the trenches got a bright idea to use the Yin Yang to reinforce the association between Windows and Office. Nicely done, making it look so much like the Apple logo for Universal binaries, right down to nearly the same colors, and flipping the image a bit. In a year, most of the world will think that Apple copied us. Just like they do with most of the other stuff. People think we invented the floating on-screen window. People think we invented just about everything we stole.

Monday, July 2, 2007

The Apple Approach

Don't you just love this Burton Smith guy? I hired him, don't let Ballmer tell you any different. He didn't want to talk this smack about Apple at first, but we hung out for a while, offered him Kool Aid now and then. He came around.

Burton Smith as quoted by El Reg:

Facing up to parallelism
"Reinvention" could make all of that obsolete almost over night. It is not a route that he favours, however. "One option with the move to parallelisation is to simply wipe the slate clean and start again with something new," he said. "This is what I call the Apple approach, where a great new technology is introduced with not much thought given to the pain it might cause users of an earlier technology. But we have to take existing users with us."


El Reg is still my favorite tool. They are so snarky that hardly anybody realizes that they actually are an MS Tool. I just love how they let our guy slip that comment in, with nary a passing reference to the fact that it's Apple who has a marvelous track record of integrating new technologies without completely horking over their existing customer base. They switched processor architectures from PowerPC to Intel and their customers scarcely noticed, save the new machines had snappy dual core architectures. Some years before that they managed a similar transition from m68k to PowerPC. The transition from Mac OS 9 to the UNIX based and entirely different Mac OS X went far better than industry pundits and analysts predicted. In fact, these recent transitions, to a new UNIX OS and new Intel CPU, went so well that their market share started growing again.

Apple just pulled off another transition, the port of Mac OS X to the ARM processor architecture, so smoothly that nobody even talks about the fact that they had to port the system to a new platform at the same time as they were re-inventing the entire approach to software on a cell phone. They sure didn't disrupt any users in that scenario, but they damn sure disrupted an entire industry over the weekend, an industry they were not even a player in last week.

Meanwhile, we at Microsoft force our customers to upgrade MS Office en-masse by tweaking file formats every release, and by making sure that the file format architecture precludes forward compatibility. I just love that scheme. Whenever somebody mails out a copy of an Office document from a new MS Office version to a bunch of people, the upgrade orders roll in. Ka-ching!

El Reg doesn't even mention that we try our darnedest (we really do!) to force everyone to throw out their old hardware and get new hardware as often as possible. By contrast, Apple tries to support the oldest Apple hardware they can, even laying hardware foundations like adding USB to all machines or increasing the baseline RAM in new systems. See, Apple does this because it helps boost the Apple presence in the market. Customers who would buy new machines do so anyway, but if the older machines are still useful, they are typically gifted to someone who then becomes an Apple convert. The next time they buy a new machine, it's an Apple. Reg is helping us seed the meme that Apple disrupts their customers, when in reality, Apple's lust for open standards is only disrupting the Microsoft mind-lock on the industry. El Reg, long may you obfuscate.

Sunday, July 1, 2007

Non iPhone pour moi

I don't have an iPhone yet, not for lack of trying. I feel strangely calm.

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Protect Your iPhone... From Theft!

Here's an excellent iPhone theft prevention device which works on the same tried and true security principle as birth control glasses. Available at the AT&T Wireless stores, probably including those that already ran out of iPhones.



In fact, this device is probably a two-fer. In addition to preventing iPhone theft, it is undoubtedly provides effective prevention of user participation in actions which might lead to pregnancy. They may not have FDA approval for pregnancy prevention, so it's probably off-label use only, not mentioned in the product literature.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Separated at Birth: Greg Packer & Leon, escaped replicant

The photographs below show Greg Packer, camping out for an iPhone, and Leon, the escaped replicant. Clearly Greg Packer is a Leon model replicant. When I first saw this dude camping out, I knew I'd seen him before somewhere.

Greg, a Blade Runner will be dispatched shortly to retire you. You don't realize it yet, but one of the many reporters who will interview you will administer a Voight-Kampff test. Blade Runners have seen a sample of your interview performance with ordinary reporters and are highly confident in your identification. It's quite likely you'll be retired before 6:00 PM on Friday, so you probably won't get to hold an iPhone. Sorry about that.


Thursday, June 28, 2007

Apple ships iPhone; Nokia responds by "restructuring"


It's time to short Nokia.

A quick check as Nasdaq shows that investors today bought Research in Motion, Palm, Motorola, and Nokia stock, while selling stock in Apple.

As everyone on Wall Street knows, Apple will ship iPhone tomorrow.

This week Apple announced:


Furthermore, Steve Jobs boosted Apple employee moral to the stratosphere by promising to give all 17,787 employees an iPhone in July.

Today Nokia responded to this onslaught of new technology, new business models, and clever talent retention tactics from Apple by issuing a press release, which describes their internal restructuring plan and layoffs of 700 employees. This plan follows only three years on the heels of their previous restructuring plan, and undoes (puts three groups together) most of what the last plan (put three groups asunder) did.

Short Nokia. That's all I'm saying. Short Wall Street, too. 'Tards. Fell for the old "lay some people off to stop the stock free fall" ploy.

iPhone accessory makers kept in the dark, grow mushrooms

At the D conference a few weeks ago while chatting with me and Walt Mossberg and that other lady, Steve Jobs mentioned that he thought Microsoft was much better at partnerships than Apple, particularly in the early days.

It looks like it's still true. Here's what CNN has to say about it:


Accessory Makers Zero In on iPhone
Even the most enthusiastic manufacturers said creating formfitting iPhone accessories was an enormous challenge.

A notoriously tightlipped Apple kept many partners in the dark on precise specifications, and some of the company's most trusted accessory manufacturers still have not touched a genuine iPhone.

To compensate, many cribbed size and weight specifications from Apple's Web site, then created models out of wood, cardboard or plastic. They shipped models to Apple for advice on whether headset and other outlets were placed correctly. They adjusted and resent revised versions to Apple.

Many made educated guesses about curved moldings or the location of the proximity sensor, which turns off the touch screen when near the user's face. A one-millimeter error could result in headsets that come unplugged or an uncomfortably hot screen. (Watch people lined-up outside NYC's Apple store waiting to be the first to own an iPhone )

"The engineering aspects were a huge challenge," said Marware Inc. sales manager Sean Savitt.



Of course, the NSFreePublicity object might require that the measurements detailing the locations of buttons and speakers and microphones and SIM trays and whatnot be kept secret for six months after iPhone was announced and before it was shipped.

Somehow I suspect that this is an indication that Apple still has some lessons to learn about partnership.