iPhone evaluation kit

OK, so despite the fact that my empire is crumbling, with Apple poised to quietly take from 1/4 to 1/3 of the browser market this year, I find myself obsessed with the iPhone. I must have one. Nobody must know, except of course Smithers who facilitates such things for me, discretely.

So, I had Smithers use one of my secret online identities to join the Apple Developer Connection (it's free!) and request the iPhone Evaluation Kit. It should arrive soon.

Walt Mossberg, an obscure reporter from the The Wall Street Journal, an old fashioned newspaper (they still print on paper!) read largely by elderly technophobes, has already received his iPhone Evaluation Kit.

A full day hasn't even passed and he's already showing it off to people, and insinuating that touchscreen keypads are "teh suck". It seems he was trying to pick up college girls or something. He's not going to have much luck with that, even with an iPhone, if he keeps dis'ing the touch screen keypad like this.

Walt Mossberg Shows College Leaders His New iPhone


My iPhone evaluation kit still hasn't arrived, although Mossberg clearly got his yesterday. Since I'm a youthful technology professional, in touch with the mobile digital lifestyle and perfectly adaptable to a touch screen keypad, (and am therefore more likely to say complementary things about the product, under the guise of my secret online identity) I'm sure that my ongoing lack of an iPhone evaluation kit is an oversight.

Smithers hired a stoner high school dropout to let me ship the package to his place. It's a service he apparently already provides to others.

My stomach is still in knots about the whole Safari for Windows + WebKit on Symbian S60 + Safari on iPhone + Safari on the Macintosh == at least 15% of the browser market by WWDC 2008 math. I did get about four hours of sleep last night, filled though it was with crazy dreams of being chased by flying colored icons with hundreds of little beach movies playing on them.