John Dvorak needs better friends

Everybody seems to think John Dvorak is my best friend or something, but I'm tellin' ya that guy irritates me no end. What with all his constant jockying to figure out how to boost his web traffic by slamming Apple, he just fans the flames. People see a loud mouthed idiot picking on the little guy and spouting FUD all over, and they just get angry... at me! What the hell did I do? This guy isn't on my payroll.

Dvorak is probably single-handedly responsible for at least a third of the market share gain that the Macintosh has seen. We should pay him to retire and shut the hell up. I wonder which VP idiot is in charge of stuff like that, and what the hell is he doing? Crap... if I could figure out how to connect to the corporate Sharepoint server I could probably figure that out... I'm going to have to go to one of those training seminars that Ballmer keeps talking about... When am I going to find time for that? I have to re-install my phone tomorrow...

Sorry, got a little distracted there. Anyway, get this. Dvorak is accidentally pimping the iPhone now. Turd-hammer. Doesn't Microsoft have Ninja or Guido mobster types on retainer to take care of clowns like this?

As if that were not enough, he's plagerizing one of the cheesy Macintosh rumor sites... like nobody's gonna notice. Hell, 0.017 seconds with a Google search will tell you which cheesy Mac rumor site in a heartbeat... yeah, here it is... that John Markoff guy over at the New York Times. Always on about iPod this, iPhone that, market share, this...

So that twit Dvorak claimed today: Time to short Apple?

{ My unnamed friend also offered an odd anecdote that I found somewhat weird, but worth mentioning. He said that he was in the Apple store and the personnel there were showing videos of the iPhone, when a customer said, "Wow, you mean it is also a cell phone!" }

Markoff wrote a few days ago:

{ During an onscreen demonstration of the iPhone in Apple’s sprawling retail store here recently, an employee, clad in a black T-shirt, of course, surprised a potential customer. Nonplused, the customer stammered, “You mean it’s a cellphone, too?” }

I'm sure it was an accident, but jeesh. Doesn't this guy know when to quit? There is no possible way that the set of all friends of a cheesy Macintosh rumor site blogger like John Markoff overlaps with the set of all friends of John Dvorak. That latter set is pretty small, I bet, too, so it should be easy to verify. Get somebody on that right away.